It’s just a ride…a long list of things I have learned (to date)

It’s been one heck of a ride.  One crazy, mixed up, muddled up time, it really has.  And I got to thinking…what have I learned?  When I look back over the last eighteen months or so, what have I learned?

Well. In no particular order…
  • Really tough hard exercise can sort out all manner of crap.
  • Listen to your body.  It really does tell the truth.  Unfortunately most of us stick our fingers in our ears and sing loudly.
  • Breathing is very hard.
  • Your mind will lead you astray.
  • Meditation should be obligatory – for the mental health of the world.
  • Never tell anyone what to do.  It is not your business.
  • Contradictions abound.
  • Love your enemies – they have the most to teach you.  Seriously.
  • Nothing is real. Really.
  • Unfortunately banks don’t run on quantum principles.
  • Being Zen is tough.
  • When in doubt, play loud rock music.
  • Fasting for long periods and driving is not a good combination.
  • Think before you spout out shit.
  • Don’t think too much.
  • Sense of humour is the probably the most important character trait you can have.
  • If you can’t change your life, change the way you think about it.
  • We are all alone.
  • You can’t please everyone – don’t even try.
  • Nobody can save you. (I like Nobody).
  • If you love someone, tell them (yes, even if they’re psychic).
  • Try not to judge.
  • Dogs are small gods.
  • Gods bite.
  • Teabags lie.
  • Sugar is sweet evil.
  • Life is too short for gardening or housework – unless you enjoy them (you weirdos).
  • Friends that don’t like you just the way you are aren’t your friends.
  • Smoked tofu with almonds totally utterly rocks.
  • So do small knitted slugs.
  • Never judge a book by its cover (literally – ho ho – and metaphorically).
  • When something about someone really bugs you, ten to one you have that self-same trait yourself. Which is hugely annoying.
  • Massage is the dog’s bollocks.  Please read that sentence carefully.
  • The truth hurts.
  • Use all your senses – all the time.
  • Religion is bonkers.
  • People are weird.
  • Never make assumptions.
  • Love really is the bottom line.
  • Be kind. Or at least try.
  • Avoid wankers.
  • Sometimes incredibly meaningful-seeming things are probably just incredibly random but that doesn’t not make them incredibly wonderful.
  • Open your heart wide open.
  • Have no regrets.
  • Give it your best shot.
  • Don’t take yourself too seriously.
  • It’s not always about you.
  • It’s always about you.
  • Oracles are open to misinterpretation.
  • When dealing with arsewipes, just smile sweetly and nod.
  • It’s not worth trying to force the universe. The universe will snicker at you from behind its hand.
  • Never give up.
  • Know when you’re on a losing wicket and quietly pad out backwards making small ‘I’m not really here’ hand motions.
  • Never turn down a rain poncho.
  • Never ever EVER get a bikini wax by a girl who’s only done, like, two before.
I think that’s it.